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My masterpiece, part 2 (long)

From:Jesse Bangs <jaspax@...>
Date:Monday, February 18, 2002, 22:42
Conlangers and Conculturalists:

This is the English translation of the Yivríndil text I posted in my
previous message.  Again, I'm not expecting detailed comments, but I'd
like to know if anyone at least read it.

Jesse S. Bangs     Pelíran
"Skin and tragedy always attract a crowd."
    --Pedro the Lion


 In the beginning Ëlori existed in the Void.  And he began to think of
the Void, and he said three words that were the Kendelori, the Kalelori,
and the Pendelori.  Then Vassalendi of the Kendelori approached Ëlori and
began to make a great song around Ëlori.  Morillan of the Kendelori
entered into the song of Vassalendi and danced, and his dance was full of
strength and anger.  Last Pantheloné of the Kendelori joined the song,
and she spoke a poem, but she spoke only for a little while because she
had also been give foreknowledge.  In this way there was great glory
around Ëlori in the Void.

 But Vanelor of the Kalelori left the glory around Ëlori and entered into
the Void, and he was searching thoroughly through the Void and came to
Aratasa.  He rejoiced at finding it and spit onto its top, and his spit
was a great sea covering all of Aratasa.  He entered the sea and hid
himself in its depths.  Then came his brother Aratelor, and he rebuked
Vanelor saying "This thing that you've done in Aratasa is not good,
because its surface is hidden beneath your seas, and the sea is like
Void, because it is wide and deep beyond count, and who could measure

 Then Vanelor was angered by the words of Aratelor and struck him on the
thigh, breaking its bone.  And the bone of Aratelor's thigh fell to the
sea and became earth, and from the thigh Aratelor crafted wide plains and
the highest mountains.  So Aratelor has been lame since that time, and he
is pleased by the heights of the mountains.

 Third Kíyoné came to Aratasa, and she breathed over the surface of
Aratasa and through her breath the fued of Aratelor and Vanelor was
calmed.  Her breath became the airs of Aratasa, and the mountains became
shrouded in mists and gales blew over the seas.

 Then Ëlori said to the Kalelori, "Look what your brothers have done, for
it is good.  Because in Aratasa there is Being, and Being is unlike the
Void.  Likewise you must go into Aratasa and increase its Being for its
fullness to be made more full in the Void."

 So Gilendi and his wife Naravar came to Aratasa, and they saw that its
darkness was like Void, so they wanted to fill its shadow with light.  So
Gilendi became a spirit of fire and heat, and he was shining most
brightly above the surface of Aratasa.  Likewise Naravar clothed herself
in light, but her light was weaker and was cool, and she refreshed the
earth with her silver light.  And Gilendi stood in the west and Naravar
in the east, and between them there was no shadow in Aratasa.  Lunelor
came behind them, and his mind was more subtle, for he wove a great black
sheet and cast it behind Gilendi and Naravar.  In the sheet he wove
beautiful stars beyond number, and because of this his handiwork is
judged best of these three, and he is most loved by the Yindar.

 Then Ëlori came to Verdanenté and put a new thought into her mind.  So
she went to Aratasa and began to create plants and trees and every kind
of plant, and the Kalelori were amazed, for in the flowering of her
children there was a likeness of the life of the Kalelori.  After her
Baratasad came, and he made animals that stand on the earth and graze on
the abundance of Verdanenté.  And Baratasad was friends with Aratelor, so
his creations were tied to the regions of Aratelor and must return to the
earth on which they walk.  Last of the Kalelori came Saravoné, and she
loved Vanelor and married him.  And she made fish that fill his seas and
which do not return to earth, and last she made birds to fill the air.
Thus Aratasa was filled with creation and movement, and it was good in
the eyes of the Kalelori.  Then the Pendelori entered Aratasa, and each
of them allied with the Kalelor they were most like in thought and
substance, and they made many works and ruled the regions they had been


 Then there was silence in the Void for nine ages while Aratasa was
growing to fullness.  And to the Kalelori it seemed that Ëlori was
thinking, and when he moved again he said no word.  But Ëlori himself
entered Aratasa, and in silence alone he shaped a new thing that was the
Yindar.  The Yindar had shape like the animals of Baratasad, and they has
the substance of Aratasa.  But when they were well-formed, Ëlori blew on
them and they woke as if from sleep, and they began to speak with voices
and think with minds and they were like Ëlori and the Kalelori.  And the
Kalelori were amazed, and they began to praise Ëlori for none of them had
either the thought or the power to make this sort of thing.  And Ëlori
caused the Yindar to sleep deeply, and he spoke to the Kalelori saying:

 "You see what I have done, which is not like your creations because it
has a mind like you but has the substance of Aratasa.  And if you are my
children, so are the Yindar my children, and I love them.  So you must
make a unique home for them, which should be the most beautiful home in
Aratasa, so that the Yindar can live there and rejoice."  And the
Kalelori rejoiced to do this.

 Therefore each of them made a gift for the Yindar according to their
desire.  Aratelor raised a ring of the mountains higher than all others
in Aratasa, and their peaks were a crown of white.  Vanelor brought up a
deep spring in the middle of the ring, and the water of the spring was
sweet and filled a deep pool.  From the pool there went a river, whose
falling was laughter, and the river flowed to the gate of the mountains
and beyond that to the world.  Kíyoné breathed warm winds over the valley
and they were fragrant like perfume.  Baratasad then made a new animal
that was greater than all other animals that he had previously made, for
its coat was fire, and its body was great and fearful.  Likewise Saravoné
made an eagle whose feathers were gold and whose cry was majestic.  Last
Verdanenté made a great tree that stood at the spring of Vanelor, and its
branches were wide, and it bore many kinds of fruits.

 Gilendi and Naravar were standing over the land to give the greatest
part with their light, and Lunelor made a ring of stars over the land
that were brighter and clearer than the other stars and which did not
set.  Lunelor of the Kalelori loved the Yindar most then, and he saw that
because Gilendi and Naravar stayed always over the home of the Yindar
their brightness was overshadowing the beauty of his stars.  So he cried
to Ëlori saying, "Look, those two don't cease to stand in one place, and
because of this my gift to the Yindar cannot be seen.  So Ëlori ordered
Gilendi and Naravar to stand apart and to not stand for long in one place
so that at times the glory of the stars could be seen.

 Then Naravar was saddened, for she loved Gilendi and wished not to be
separated from him.  So she made a black veil for herself and veiled her
face and said, "I must veil myself with this veil when I leave my
beloved, and I will unveil myself when I draw near to him."  In this way
when Gilendi and Naravvar stand furthest apart the light of Naravar is
covered, and when they stand close by the light of Naravar brightens.
And Ëlori permitted that once an age they could be united, and then
Naravar veils their faces and there is darkness over the earth while
Naravar goes to her beloved.

 When this had been done, Ëlori spit on the faces of the Yindar and awoke
them, and he carried them to the land that the Kalelori had made for
them.  And the Yindar rejoiced at it, and they named the land Hara.  The
great animal of Baratasad they named the Tyegro, and the eagle of
Saravoné Thollos, and the tree of Verdanenté Levos, and the great stars
of Lunelor they named Alnar.  And they lived in Hara and were joyful.

 When Ëlori made the Yindar he said, "Look, the Yindar are one sort, and
there will be only one thought and one way between them.  Therefore let
us break their essence, for isn't the the unity that is brought from many
better than the unity that is brought from one?"  So Ëlori broke the
Yindar into man and woman, and each of them was given a part of the
essence of the Yindar.  Then he commanded, "Man must not live without
Woman, nor Woman without Man, for alone they are only half-formed.  For
this they must marry, and this unity will be better than the unity that
they had before."


 Vassalendi was most glorious of the Kendelori and was most like Ëlori in
his thoughts and his majesty.  And he saw that Ëlori loved Aratasa, and
that the Yindar were making music to him, and he grew jealous for
previously song was his area only.  So a hatred for Being entered into
his heart, and he wanted to destroy the Being of Aratasa and to seize the
glory of song for himself in the Void.  And he sang a great song usin
this as its heart, and many Pendelori were amazed by his song and joined,
but others feared and fled.  And from the belly of Vassalendi came out
the Great Worm, Lethakalan that wants to swallow the being of Aratasa.
For Lethakalan is the child of the hatred of Vassalendi, and it is
hunting to devour all that is and in the end to even devour itself.

 Then Morillan saw what Vassalendi did, and he fought against him.  And
there was war in the Void for an age, and Morillian fought against
Vassalendi but could not defeat him, nor close the mouth of the Great
Worm.  But Ëlori came from Aratasa, and when he came his face was full of
anger.  Then he spoke, and Vassalendi trembled before him.  And this was
the judgement of Ëlori:

 "Vassalendi, you have been jealous of a work of Ëlori's hand, and so you
have hated what is good to him.  Even if you had been victorious and
destroyed all Being, in the Void you would still find it, for I am in the
Void as I am in Being, and in me the two are one.  But because you have
hated Being you will be bound, and will not find Void though you will
greatly want it."  Thus Vassalendi was exiled to Aratasa.

 But no one could stop Lethakalan, and Ëlori would not destroy it.
Rather he set a deep sleep on it, and Aratelor bound it around the
foundations of Aratasa.  So Ëlori commanded that it should stand for
Vassalendi as a reminder of the doom and the fruit of his hatred, for it
is said that at the end of time Lethakalan will awake and will devour the
world and will devour Vassalendi who is tied to the world, and then will
devour itself and pass away into the peak of utter emptiness.

 With Vassalendi fell those Pendelori who had entered into his song and
had not repented, and of them there were three of the most powerful of
the Pendelori.  Their first names are now forgotten, but now they are
named Tholden, Gathos, and Durkendé, and with Durkendé came her agent
Vandar.  These were like the Kalelori in power, and Vassalendi gave of
his power to them so that they could be made stronger, and they became

 In those days the Yindar were still unbroken, and they did not die or
hunger or thirst.  And the land of Hara was around them, and they were
rejoicing in its beauty and singing songs of praise to Ëlori and the
Kalelori who had made the world.  But their songs were hateful to
Vassalendi, for at that time he was not singing and hated the sound of
it.  When he fell to Aratasa the songs of the Yindar came to his ears
again, and he hated them.  And he clothed himself in a shape of fire and
darkness, and he attacked the Yindar to stop their songs.  This was the
first war of Vassalendi against the Yindar, and in it the Yindar were
badly wounded, for they were still children and weak.  But Lunelor of the
Kalelori came up and struck Vassalendi, for he loved the Yindar, and he
cast a net of protection around them.  So Vassalendi ceased to war
against the Yindar for that time, and he went to the depths of Aratasa
and waited.

 When the Yindar saw Vassalendi they were terrified both at is power and
his hatred, but most at the sight of the hunger for Void in his eyes.
Thus they understood Void for the first time, which they previously had
been hidden from them.  And at that time Lethakalan was bound around
Aratasa, and the Yindar also feared that, for Lethakalan was the promise
of the end of Being in Aratasa, and the Yindar loved Being and wanted to
hoard it for themselves.

 Thus Vassalendi saw how he would be able to make the Yindar fall and
avenge himself on Ëlori.  So he began going secretly among the Yindar and
spoke to them, and he whispered that Ëlori was a maker of Void, and that
he had bound Lethakalan around Aratasa, and that they could see this for
themselves if they would look for it.  He also said that they should flee
from Ëlori and should renounce Void so that they could become kings of
Being and never again fear Void.  And the Yindar believed him.

 So when Ëlori came again to the Yindar they looked at his face, and they
saw that Void with Being were in him, and they fled from him.  Then Ëlori
called out to them saying, "Why are you fleeing from me?"

 The Yindar answered, "Because you are Void, and we who are being love

 And Ëlori said again, "Why are you fleeing from me?"

 And the Yindar answered, "Because you bring Void to us, and we are
fleeing from the Void so that we can become kings of Being."

 And Ëlori answered back, "You speak truly saying that I bring Void to
you, but this is not something that should be feared.  And do you think
that you could become kings of Being if you have not passed through the

 And the Yindar answered, "Nonetheless we hate Void, and we want to push
it out of Aratasa, and to also push you out if you bring Void to us."

 Then Ëlori wept, for he loved the Yindar, but he said, "So be it."  And
he left the world.

 Then Vassalendi saw that Ëlori was no longer with the Yindar, and he
came again for war with his generals Tholden, Gathos, and Durkendé.  And
he attacked the Yindar and the handiwork of the Kalelori, and he greatly
wounded them.  And the Kalelori joined the battle against him, and there
was a great war in the land of Hara.  And all of the Yindar were thrust
out of Hara for they could not stand in Vassalendi's onslaught, and
beautiful Hara was destroyed by the battle.  The Kalelori could not
defeat Vassalendi nor thrust him from Hara, but he still could not
destroy them.  So he made Hara into a fortress of fear and hatred most
fearsome and strong of all places in Aratasa, and he lived there, from
where he waged war.  And the Yindar named the place Durned, and named
Vassalendi Agam, and they hated him.

 But Ëlori still had not forgotten the Yindar, and he saw that their
desire for Being would poison them, and that if they lived without end
they would soon be no better than Agam.  So he said, "The Yindar must
stay only a short time in the world, and then they must leave so that
they don't utterly kill themselves in their lives.  For only through
death can they now be saved."  So the spirits of the Yindar leave their
bodies after a short time, and Vandar harvests them for Durkendé, whose
throne is in the mouth of Lethakalan.

 Thus death entered the world, and the Yindar hate it even though it is a
gift from Ëlori.  And all of the Yindar, seeking to collect Being for
themselves, created theft and murder and rape, and they quickly scattered
far over Aratasa and became many people.  There has not ceased to be war
in Aratasa, both between Agam and the Kalelori, and between Agam and the
Yindar, and between the Yindar and themselves as they are seeking to
increase through the injury of another.  And Ëlori is far away, but he
has not forgotten Aratasa, and the wise say that he will enter the world
again before the end.


Pavel Iosad <pavel_iosad@...>
Christophe Grandsire <christophe.grandsire@...>
Pavel Iosad <pavel_iosad@...>
Christophe Grandsire <christophe.grandsire@...>