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Re: Further stanza's and a melody

From:Boudewijn Rempt <bsarempt@...>
Date:Saturday, April 24, 1999, 18:31
On Fri, 23 Apr 1999, FFlores wrote:

>=20 > Well, I couldn't match the melody, but anyway, here > are the other stanzas in Drasel=E9q: >=20
>=20 > _ar=F3sfar=ECn_ "snow" is borrowed, hence its strange long > sound. The Dr=E1selhadh had never seen snow before coming to > the new lands; the Biy=FAza, to the south, named it like that > and then the word spread. In proper Drasel=E9q the word would > have been _lostfl=ECn_, from the same roots, lost- "cold" and > _fl=ECn_ "rain". >=20
You did realize 'snowdrop' is another flower, did you?
>=20 > Sero lesha lodha perve > 1sHGH fresh like snowdrop > Per plens ar=F3sfar=ECnerg sar > cos green.1s snow.COMP I >=20 > _plens_ "I am green" in the sense of "unripe" > (the green colour is _dimel_) >=20
In this case, 'lesha', does not mean unripe: it is related to 'laush', 'water', and is intended to evoke the unspoiled freshness of a mountain spring (the watery kind, not the seasonal one). It has also nothing to do with virginity, which is not prized by the Charyans, but with the ability to express a spontaneous pleasure.
>=20 > Sero xixi lodha s=FCve > 1sHGH tender like poppy > Per runet q=E1isinderg sar > cos delicate.1s redflower.COMP I >=20 > _runet_=3D "I'm delicate, I'm like a drawing made > with a fine point pen" (sort of). >=20
That's almost the right sense; 'xixi' contains that meaning, but also the delicateness of, for instance, a butterfly: touch it, and it's gone.
>=20 > Phew! It was hard, but fun. And it's a beautiful > song. I really have to congratulate you -- I've never > been able to write a good song or poem, let alone in > a foreign language, let alone with a melody! >=20
Your compliments make me blush - something which readers of some of the other Charyan poetry I have produced wouldn't=20 have thought me capable of... On the other hand, I have an=20 heard an expert opinion[1] that it is actually easier to write poetry in a foreign language than in your own because all the words are fresh. [1] By Lloyd Haft, an American who lives in the Netherlands and writes Dutch poetry. He tried to teach me Chinese. Boudewijn Rempt |