Re: a bad essay

 I didn't write the essay, a friend e-mailed it to me.
"Define 'cynical'."-M. Mudd
 
 




________________________________
From: Daniel Bowman <danny.c.bowman@...>
To: CONLANG@listserv.brown.edu
Sent: Thursday, February 5, 2009 8:50:55 PM
Subject: Re: a bad essay

Did you write the essay?

It's honest, at least.

On Fri, Feb 6, 2009 at 10:48 AM, Vincent Pistelli <pva003@...> wrote:

> I'm currently an eighth grader in Pittsburgh.
>
> On Thu, Feb 5, 2009 at 7:30 PM, Campbell Nilsen <cactus95@verizon.net
> >wrote:
>
> > I don't know if this is a hoax.
> > Have a field day with this one.
> >
> > *Ahem*.
> > This essay was written by an 8th grader in Pittsburgh in the spring of
> > 2004. The assignment was to pick an endangered species and explain why
> it's
> > important to save it. The typos and formatting are preserved from the
> > original.
> >
> > Richard XXXXXXXX Draft 2
> >
> > I shouldn't do shit. I don't care about them they all could die and it
> > won't affect my life. I know a lot about them but I don't need to think
> > about them. They're just a waste of time koalas are stupid they don't
> help
> > me with shit so why should I help them. If they all die there will be
> more
> > room for the panthers and all the other hard animals. Koalas are weak a
> pit
> > will get rid of their whole fucking family. That's why I don't like
> koalas.
> >
> > Koalas have sharp claws but they are weak. They all small and fat and
> they
> > be climing trees. I hope a storm just come while theyjust chilling up in
> the
> > tree thinking they is hard and they're will all just fall off. They just
> > break they neck and shit. When they fall they claws are going to fall off
> > and they going to be crying like some little bitches.
> >
> > Koalas aren't hard they some little bitches. They start climbing up the
> > tree soon as they see a deer from like 50feet away. They stupid as hell
> they
> > should put their brain in their pouch and put the kid in they ten they're
> be
> > able to think better. They try to be in the fucking kangaroo family. They
> > weak as hell, talking bout they got a pouch a kangaroo so they their
> cousins
> > and shit. Kangaroo's have some big ass legs and whot do a koala got? Some
> > little ass legs, they tails is little and weak as fuck kangaroo's got a
> big
> > ass long tail that can kill a fucking koala.
> >
> > If a koala goes in the water it won't be able to breathe with its little
> > short ass. It'd fucking drown soon aas it take one step into the water.
> > While they at the river trying to get something to drink a bear could
> just
> > come to him and snatch its ass up. It doesn't know protection because
> they
> > don't have
> > protection. What they little ass going to do? It can't scratch him. The
> > bear will beat his fucking ass.
> >
> > The important think about koalas is that just don't care about tem and
> let
> > them die by all the other animals in Australia. They're not important
> just
> > let nature do what it do and kill them. Koalas do not have a place in
> this
> > world there's not enough room for all the bitches in this world. So let
> all
> > the koalas that's in the zoos and shit. Let them go and put them back
> with
> > their family. If you let them all go they won't nothing except for that's
> > what they was put in this world for.
> >
> > Now you know why koalas aren't important. They have nothing to do except
> > for sitting around in the trees. It's like they just was like they was
> sent
> > have to die. Koalas don't do nothing to help anybody. Thre would be just
> one
> > more relative of the kangaroo that will be six feet under. Now you know
> why
> > koalas are not important because there are dumb
> >
> >
> > "Define 'cynical'."-M. Mudd
> >
>

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