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Re: TRANS: a lament under the rain

From:Boudewijn Rempt <bsarempt@...>
Date:Saturday, August 7, 1999, 18:05
On Fri, 6 Aug 1999, FFlores wrote:

>=20 > I guess that's good for me. Sorry if your work gets behind. >
It's excellent - not only is it a mark of the emperor's high favour, and carries a compensation that's about high enough topay for the=20 requisite parties, gifts and general presentation costs, but you have the opportunity to enrich yourself beyond your wildest dreams. Be warned, though, that the current Emperor has mounted a campaign against corruption (without raising the civil service salaries, of course, that would have been too rational).
>=20 > Your translation is more poetic than the original! I really like the > metaphor... metonym... whatever that's called. And the very word, 'Mirili=
r',
> is like a dream come true. :) >=20
That's one of my favourites too. I've wondered how realistic a word it=20 would be, giving that the normal Denden /r/ is a apico-alveolar flap (or tap), and I wondered how that would interact with the intervening /l/r. But since I can pronounce, it's not impossible...
> The 'sexual ease' was in the Teonaht word. When I borrowed it, I changed =
a
> bit to something more... hmm... elevated. Though a few centuries *could* =
end
> up with the word meaning that. >=20
I had hoped to fit in the entire etymological history - but I was too ambitious!
>=20 > I should have clarified that my _rrenm=FCnd_ 'square' meant the geometric=
al
> shape only, not a city square. Here it refers to the subdivisions of the > rice terraces into square sections at different heights. But then, you ar=
e=20
> including the sense of 'fountain' in your _lauy=E9_, which keeps the feel=
ing
> right there. >=20
I hadn't thought of that possibility - the rice fields I have in memory are quite wavy - not much square about them. I think I'll let it stand as a bit of poetic licence, since I like changes of scene in poetry quite a lot.
> I really haven't thought of a word for 'city square'. I guess I could use > a compound, _=F3rensl=E0m_ 'stone garden', 'stone park'. That would inclu=
de
> some trees and a maybe a couple of temples in the corners, *maybe* with > a fountain. >=20
Would those be public or private?
>=20 > > The reduplication of _ilor_ continue is not a case of delimitative > > aspect, since the whole verb is reduplicated, not only the last > > syllable. The meaning is therefore more like 'continues and continue=
s'.
> > There is a partice _daha_ 'if', but it's use is not necessary in thi=
s
> > context, and would have unbalanced the line. >=20 > So there's no explicit conditional? Which is the context? > Would you change the intonation of the line? >=20
For that we must go back to the original Denden: Laush per tau.wonir ilor ilor rain cold NEG.stop continue continue Raht tau.wana.ju Mirilir aday.yaday tan. earth NEG.give_birth.CRT Mirilir male_child.female_child TAN I think, but I'm not sure, that the negative in the second line provides the clue that this is a conditional - together with poetic tradition. Boudewijn Rempt | http://www.xs4all.nl/~bsarempt