Re: TRANS: a lament under the rain

On Fri, 6 Aug 1999, FFlores wrote:

>=20
> I guess that's good for me. Sorry if your work gets behind.
>
It's excellent - not only is it a mark of the emperor's high favour,
and carries a compensation that's about high enough topay for the=20
requisite parties, gifts and general presentation costs, but you have
the opportunity to enrich yourself beyond your wildest dreams. Be warned,
though, that the current Emperor has mounted a campaign against corruption
(without raising the civil service salaries, of course, that would have
been too rational).

>=20
> Your translation is more poetic than the original! I really like the
> metaphor... metonym... whatever that's called. And the very word, 'Mirili=
r',
> is like a dream come true. :)
>=20
That's one of my favourites too. I've wondered how realistic a word it=20
would be, giving that the normal Denden /r/ is a apico-alveolar flap
(or tap), and I wondered how that would interact with the intervening
/l/r. But since I can pronounce, it's not impossible...

> The 'sexual ease' was in the Teonaht word. When I borrowed it, I changed =
a
> bit to something more... hmm... elevated. Though a few centuries *could* =
end
> up with the word meaning that.
>=20
I had hoped to fit in the entire etymological history - but I was too
ambitious!

>=20
> I should have clarified that my _rrenm=FCnd_ 'square' meant the geometric=
al
> shape only, not a city square. Here it refers to the subdivisions of the
> rice terraces into square sections at different heights. But then, you ar=
e=20
> including the sense of 'fountain' in your _lauy=E9_, which keeps the feel=
ing
> right there.
>=20
I hadn't thought of that possibility - the rice fields I have in memory
are quite wavy - not much square about them. I think I'll let it stand
as a bit of poetic licence, since I like changes of scene in poetry quite
a lot.

> I really haven't thought of a word for 'city square'. I guess I could use
> a compound, _=F3rensl=E0m_ 'stone garden', 'stone park'. That would inclu=
de
> some trees and a maybe a couple of temples in the corners, *maybe* with
> a fountain.
>=20
Would those be public or private?

>=20
> >    The reduplication of _ilor_ continue is not a case of delimitative
> >    aspect, since the whole verb is reduplicated, not only the last
> >    syllable. The meaning is therefore more like 'continues and continue=
s'.
> >    There is a partice _daha_ 'if', but it's use is not necessary in thi=
s
> >    context, and would have unbalanced the line.
>=20
> So there's no explicit conditional? Which is the context?
> Would you change the intonation of the line?
>=20
For that we must go back to the original Denden:

Laush per  tau.wonir ilor     ilor
rain  cold NEG.stop  continue continue

Raht  tau.wana.ju        Mirilir aday.yaday              tan.
earth NEG.give_birth.CRT Mirilir male_child.female_child TAN

I think, but I'm not sure, that the negative in the second line
provides the clue that this is a conditional - together with
poetic tradition.

Boudewijn Rempt  | http://www.xs4all.nl/~bsarempt