Re: "Verimak": jumping into the translation marathon

On Sun, 9 May 1999, Sally Caves wrote:

> > Padraic... since you commented, I want you to take a go at
> > "Verimak" in Kernu.  I'd love to see what you come up with!
All right, what I came up with:

Nunck Depossci
never hereafter

I.
Le caleor la sulle ne depossci temas outh,
the heat of the sun never hereafter fear at all

nel eduo la ire le Duvotemme,
neither the ardour of the anger of Winter

ty la ndeva oficinne mmortal tu ai cofacc=FA,
thou thy Mortal Office thou has finished with

da ndeva ndomme tu ai e=FA,
to thy home thou has gone

le ndeu salte tu ai attrai=FA.
thy wage packet thou has taken

Y mheip e mheirch de or,
the lads and lassies of gold

commy mhunneori le fhocces,
like cleaners of hearths

dond ay il ke ys si poneor in cravine.
there is to them that they must even be put to dust

II.
Le desplacer le maculles ne depossci temas outh,
the displeasure of lords never hereafter fear at all

ty ist ilalla de la crueltate le reges amatos;
thou are yonder beyond the cruelty of kings evil

la ncaron ei vhestes ne dongenas pass;
meat and clothes put not to thy head at all

sorry tu, saat petra o aconna.
as for thee, she's rock or stone

ys y thot cestes ys seckeor,
they must all seek this

dond ay il ke si poneor in cravine.
there is to them that they must even be put to dust

III.
Le ngladh le Lucete ne depossci temas outh,
the sword of Lucket never hereafter fear at all

nei thempennes temeverents le Taranne.
neither the fearsome drums of Taran

ne temas outh des llandeores o y whoudneores le contemte.
fear not of slanders or the wounds of contempt

le ndeu redent e le ndeu lacremant tu ai cofacc=FA.
thy laughing and thy crying thou has finished with

persecuteores, char=FAs, carents:
suitors, beloved, lovers

a cell ys acadeor,
to that they all must even fall

dond ay sempeor il ke ys si poneor in cravine.
there is to them that they must ever be put to dust

********

crava is gravel, like you find in streams; but when the diminutive -in- is
added, it becomes dust.

Lucket and Taran are thought to be brothers that are always getting into a
row about something.  Lucet swings his sword (lightning) in his brother's
face; who then gets mad and bangs away on his great drum (lightning).  The
sound of which annoys Lucet all the more, and swings the sword closer ...
and you get the idea.

I couldn't find "tsema" in the vocabulary, nor in the main dictionary; so
I fudged and made something up.  I'm not sure if conveys an idea even
close to the original, but I like the idea conveyed: when you're dead
stuff here doesn't matter, it's all either rock or stone.

llandeors (slander) is an interesting word in that it was borrowed from
French as a phrase d'esclandre, which was poorly interpreted as "des
clandre" =3D des (de ex) clandur, of slander.  Thus the nominative fell pre=
y
to the cl > ll rule; while the es- part was interpreted as the preposition
es, derived from Latin ex.  When in the oblique case, llandeors always
takes the double preposition des (de + es); like several other French
borrowings.

woudneors, believe it or not derives from vulnus.  The "l" got assimilated
to "n", which in this kind of location becomes "dn".

I know "persecuteors" looks like persecutor, but it's _really_ suitor.  On
the other hand, isn't persecutor what a suitor really is?  After all, you
persecute some poor lass until she breaks down and marries you? ;-)

I like the poem rather a lot.  Can't wait to find out its "true identity".

Padraic.