----- Original Message -----
From: "Mark J. Reed" <markjreed@...>
> On 7/25/06, Sally Caves <scaves@...> wrote:
>> Part of the great power of Ozymandias is not what it *says* but how it
>> says
>> it; the "off-rhymes" are incredible (did we decide what we were going to
>> call those? You'd vetoed "internal rhyme):
>
> Was that to me? I didn't realize I had veto power. :)
Actually, it was a plural you, since I couldn't remember who corrected me.
Damn language ambiguity! Shoulda said "y'all."
>> Do you stick rigidly to the meaning of the origin language or do you
>> focus on
>> making the target language poetic as well?
>
> Allow me to state my opinion on the topic unequivocally:
>
> Free verse is worth what you pay for it.
You pay through the nose
If it's only common prose
in expensive lines. :(
> Blank verse leaves my face matching.
Clear as mud I fear.
Did you mean to say your face
was only itching? :)
> Slant rhyme should be slantier so the words slide right off the page
> and disappear.
No words should disappear in a good poem. They should resonate and draw the
whole thing together. Is "slant" rhyme what we're talking about in
Ozymandias with the well/tell etc.?
> Capisce? :)
Not at all. Sorry.
> IMO, preserving the spirit of the form is more important than
> preserving the literal meaning, else why make it poetic in the first
> place?
>
> That's not to say the exact form need be carried over - as with the
> meaning, literality is not always the goal, and sometimes it's wholly
> inappropriate. For instance, English "haikus" are far too easy to
> construct if your only rule is 17 syllables. An embarrassment of
> riches! Trying to come up with something meaningful in only 17
> syllables of Japanese, *and* getting the obligatory nature theme in
> there, is quite something. But in English?
>
> In English, it's true
> You can construct a "haiku"
> (And make it rhyme, too)
Terrible! :)
> No effort required
> To create one, impromptu,
> (And not be admired)
Etonen yllefon
Amendorln mimmeslim nom;
Yry uon fraga. :( :(
> I've never tried to translate poetry into a conlang. The temptation
> to alter the language to make it work would be too great unless the
> language were already sufficiently mature to resist such tampering.
> So far none of mine are.
I've translated relay poems into Teonaht poems. Irina's is one such
example, where the deeds of the starling became a Teonaht song sung to waltz
melody. It's on my "teoreal" files. .ra, I'm afraid, still.
Sally