Re: Translation: The Lay of Leithian

The Gray Wizard <dbell@...> wrote:


>The Lay of Leithian
>1. Of Thingol in Doriath
>
>1. A king there was in days of old;
>2. ere Men yet walked upon the mould
>3. his power was reared in cavern's shade,
>4. his hand was over glen and glade.
>5. Of leaves his crown, his mantle green
>6. his silver lances long and keen,
>7. the starlight in his shield was caught,
>8. ere moon was made or sun was wrought.

I gave it a try in Draseléq, to see how it went... It didn't
quite fit the culture, but most of what is said can be
expressed, if not understood completely without further
references.


0. En Dórriathür Thingol

1. Nolnot gentel thüaq dantur
2. da dholf fan sitreseq Renhadh
3. Bäthes saurür rátsimaq pon dhobar,
4. suek mer suek hlethor pon idan.
5. Gategth i nethuàm, dimaq pon paol,
6. qors rin dhildhil pon velqamp ìthth,
7. üs pon kü`n emmérsotaq dinis,
8. fan gü'ftimaq is fan núnqtimaq bais.


Interlinear:

0. En    Dórriathür   Thingol
   about Dorriath.LOC Thingol
   'Of Thingol in Doriath'

    I was in doubt regarding the names, but it turns out that
    none of the two can be analyzed in Draseléq. The native
    forms would be Tòktulm 'Fence(d)land' for Doriath, and
    Soimpaol 'Greycoat' for Thingol.
    Note _Dórriathür_: the stress of the original Sindarin is
    preserved, and the Sindarin trilled <r> is appropriately
    transcribed as Draseléq trilled <rr> (my single <r> is
    a flap).


1. Nolnot   gentel thüaq       dantur
   old_time then   exist.3sPST king
   'In old time there was a king'

    These noun + adverb phrases are more and more replacing the
    prep + noun or noun.case constructions.


2. da dholf fan    sitreseq       Renhadh
   on mould before PRF.walk.3pPST men.GRP
   'before the Men had walked on the mould'

3. Bäthes   saurür     rátsimaq       pon       dhobar,
   cave.GEN shadow.LOC exalt.PV.3sPST 3sMAS.PSS power
   'In the shadow of a cave his power was exalted,'

    I don't have a separate word for 'shade', but the word
    for 'shadow' doesn't have the connotations it has in Tolkien's
    myth (even if the root is <saur->!).


4. suek mer    suek hlethor  pon       idan.
   over valley over clearing 3sMAS.PSS hand
   'his hand [was] over [each] valley and clearing'

5. Gategth i nethuàm, dimaq       pon       paol,
   leaves  * crown    green.3sPST 3sMAS.PSS coat
   'A crown of leaves, green was his coat,'

    ObConculture: the word for 'crown' is a crude compound,
    'head-symbol', and the last element is a borrowing. The
    Dráselhadh kings usually didn't use crowns (and if so,
    they were not a symbol of power -- they had rings and
    medals for that).


6. qors rin  dhildhil  pon       velqamp     ìthth,
   long with point.DUP 3sMAS.PSS silver_made lances
   'long and pointed [were] his silver lances,'

    _dhil_ 'pointed end'; reduplication here (not productive)
    makes it into 'really sharp pointed end'.


7. üs pon       kü`n   emmérsotaq       dinis,
   in 3sMAS.PSS shield enclose.MV.3sPST starlight
   'starlight got trapped in his shield,'

8. fan    gü'ftimaq     is   fan    núnqtimaq      bais.
   before make.PV.3sPST moon before forge.PV.3sPST sun
   'before the moon was made, before the sun was forged.'


--Pablo Flores
  http://www.geocities.com/pablo-david/index.html
  http://www.geocities.com/pablo-david/draseleq.html