Re: TRANS: a haiku

From: "Herman Miller"


> >FFlores wrote:
> >>     If everything's green
> >>     and sun falls and there's wind
> >>     I am here at home
> Here's an attempt at a Tirelat translation. Not quite grammatical, but
then
> the grammar of Tirelat is continually in flux. Perhaps this is the poetic
> style.
> nai zimizezyai
> kyi ronai, ghev gavizyai
> le nama temba
In Géarthnuns, tweek, tweek, tweek. The original can't be mashed into a
haiku format; the suppositional element had to be completely trashed. Still,
I think it captures the essence.

Chö dhaubs híaufansas
Möraudílöks zhö bövars
Sík la chau gvosörs.

Ev'rything's greenness
The sunset and the faint breeze
I take it all in

Chö dhaubs híaufansas
the green everything-gen

Möraudílöks zhö bövars
sunset-nom and breeze-nom

Sík la chau gvosörs.
I-dat pres the pleasure.of.doing.something.sedentary

Changing "la" (present) to "lü" (transcendent) in the last line would
provide the implication of "whenever this happens, I feel this way", putting
some of the supposition back in, but I like the present here, 'cause it
seems to be capturing a special moment -- there are these three elements,
and I am enjoying them now. A snapshot. Of course, this warps your
original -- I wouldn't have done well in the relay translation exercise.

Kou